All posts tagged: spring

OOTD: Blooming Season

This year’s Spring has been a different sort of blooming. As I’m coming to the end of my gap year, I’ve discovered many things about myself: my capacity to work, to live, to struggle, to dream … the list could go on. There is no way I could have imagined this year turning out the way it did, but I’m well aware of each little thing that sprouted, that sustained, or that withered and died along the way. The High Park cherry blossoms blooming is always a spectacular event in Toronto. On one hand, the overwhelming beauty of the trees blooming in clusters is indescribable, and on the other hand, the ephemeral blip of a lifespan these flowers have make them both profound and quite precious. It’s not surprising, that people are so enamoured with sakura. Temporality is a quality that forces us to recognize our own beginnings and ends. When we try, as much as possible, to forget that very few things last forever (if any), we actually rob our current experiences of their …

Record: April 13th, 2015

There is a set of stairs in the building where I worked that isn’t used very often, and has this lovely sandy, rusty vibe to it. I really like to sit there, eat lunch and enjoy good weather. Spring making its comeback in all its loveliness. The yellow is almost too bright to look at for long. I’m quite partial to the smell of decay and growth happening at the same time. It’s also really nice to see leaves again after so much winter and snow. Sometimes the universe and I just happen to think alike. These will be named my sky jeans from now on. I went for a little trek in the park, which has a huge pit for unleashed dogs to bound around in. It was the most joyful thing, dogs just running amok everywhere within that green.

OOTD: Sometimes You Have to Grow Into It

When I was little I received a pearl necklace from my mom. I grew up in a region of China where freshwater pearls were a big thing, and as new arrivals to the country, my family went on tours to visit pearl factories that cultivated them, extracted them, and turned them into pieces of jewelry and other wearables. I had a single purple pearl necklace that I wore often, and a white seed pearl necklace that I never wore. Pearl strings remind me of my grandmother, naturally because she owns one. My memory of her often involves that string of pearls on the dresser, or around her neck; tiny little white orbs flashing in her ears, or on her hands. Pearls fascinated me, but I was always in two minds about them. Their iridescent sheen and natural ability to glow always attracted me, but pearls were not for young girls, they had a sophisticated old age to them – the product of time and process. I abandoned wearing even the single pearl necklace in my teenage years, …

OOTD(s): Black, White & Grey「黑白灰」

There are certain types of emotions that continue to throb in my daily living. I have always struggled with a conscious timidity, and a brash stubborn streak. The combination thereof is a living style that oscillates between trepidation, and bravado. It sounds dramatic, but it isn’t. It just feels like sweaty palms when I was 12, standing just outside the doorway to my new classroom and hearing the sound of my classmates to-be inside and wishing I was anywhere but there. It also feels like that moment of walking across the threshold, and clenching my fists. Life can be a series of repeats, same but different. Sometimes I feel my life is a revolving door: in and out of countries, of communities, of jobs, and of homes. I often strongly feel the temporary status of my presence, and am always anticipating the next reentry, the next exit, even as I try to embrace as much of the present as possible – to experience, and subsequently, to remember. Lately I find myself drawn to the same …

OOTD: Battle Suit

Lately I’ve been trying to intentionally push myself out of my comfort zone, which I admit has expanded quite a bit in the few years already. One of my biggest struggles is putting myself out there, and meeting new people. I tend to function much better in smaller, intimate settings, and often find myself disoriented, and very restless at large gatherings of people. I am most often at stasis, or going through my varying routines at my own pace, on my own terms. But I do feel that a part of my goals will be better achieved if I am able to put myself out there, in new environments, amongst strangers. I recently applied for a job that would let me do this. Propelled by responsibility, I will have to do it. To do something I don’t like to do requires a great deal of energy and mental self-psyching. I have three habits I follow whenever I have to do something like this, from interviews, going to an event, or public speaking etc. Dress well. …