In early discussions of getting married, I mentioned that I did not want an engagement ring, nor a proposal.
Our relationship has always been one of meeting halfway, mutual compromise and agreement, and equal weight. So deciding to get married was an active decision-making process for the both of us, instead of an active-passive divide in roles.
Passing on an engagement ring was also the most comfortable decision for the both of us, as diamonds and the messaging around them run counter to our values. That money is better used in savings, or in more thoughtful gifts for our wedding guests.
Very early on, we also became interested in forging our wedding bands together, and eventually decided to go with The Wedding Band Workshop hosted by The Den. It was meaningful for us to personally shape the symbols of our commitment to loving each other, and go through the process together.
We ended up with matching textured hammered silver rings. Functional, personal, with a little reminder on the inside that we all need the sabbath to sustain our selves and each other. How wonderful to also witness the way metal becomes refined through fire, and to see that biblical promise brought to life.