從前的我 害怕期待空轉的失落
而現在的我 努力學接受我的脆弱
昨天的我 夜深人靜總是想得太多
今天的我 笑一笑看待真的沒什麼

Traveling the familiar pathways home means I encounter frozen parts of myself along the way.
Old haunts, old favourite drinks, old habits of living.

Distance from the hub of activity that is my life presently means I can get some clarity: on myself, on my work, and on those rhythms and attitudes I have come to take as normal, or take as a given.

想變成什麼樣的人啊?
想要大家都會羨慕我
外表出眾 有才華 懂得生活
好品味 、有質感的那種
想變成這樣子的人啊
我要愛自己更多

The title of this song “我想變成我” (roughly translates to, “I want to become me”) reminds me of all of these journeys I try to take every year. 小路’s voice is so wonderfully mellow that it blunts the explicitly reflective slant of the words, yet invites the listener into her headspace.

該幽默的時候談吐就幽默
剛好的自信在對的time出手
你喜歡我嗎?
我好喜歡我

Self-love looks different for everyone, particularly in music. In the hum of acoustic guitar and soft voices over the years I’ve come to see myself in a mirror.

In art we are often just looking for a mirror, so we might know that in another person creating that art out there, there is a point of connection, a moment where loneliness can be assuaged.

想變成什麼樣的人啊?
想要朋友都想靠近我
好比一本很有深度的小說
暢所欲言我的美麗與哀愁
想變成這樣子的人啊
我要愛自己更多

When I come back to my friends and family on this side of the world, to the cities I grew up in and the food that my heart remembers even when my tongue as long forgotten, I get a chance to see myself in a mirror.

I’ve been changing, and they have been changing but my memory has stayed the same. From that fixed point I can sift through a bit of what has been shifting, what has been altered, what is still sliding through time and space.

該學會放手的事情let it go
恰巧的聰明犯不要緊的錯
想變成什麼?
我想變成我

cozy diary’s music reminds me of that person I am constantly working toward. She is someone I’m moving into and becoming. They are changing as well, switching directions, giving up one kind of dream for another. Although they’re leaving the spotlight as musicians for a while, there are more important things that make up the person..

These are the questions of value I hold close to me, these questions that close the song:

改變是好的
我變更好了
你喜歡我嗎?
我好喜歡我
想變成什麼?
我想變成我

Posted by:jasmine

Jasmine is an editor, poet, and community arts organizer. She comes to poetry by way of Chinese music. This blog is a mapping of ways.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s