As I get older, I find that it becomes harder and harder to keep in touch.

But I’ve also discovered that the friends I have held on to, mean many more things with each passing year.

Besides the weight of shared memories, experiences and events that solidify these relationships, there is also the growing multi-relational positioning that I love.

After the common experience of university, friends also become partners and lovers, become competitors in the job market or colleagues, become drinking buddies and hobby sharers.
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The little huddle of friends I have has evolved in many different ways over the years, but our fondness for gathering together to make a ruckus remains consistent.

The people who show up have slowly changed over the years, as new friends are made, old friends fall out of touch or more often, leave the city for new adventures. But the feeling of comfort, of familiarity and of rest remains – over food, over new places, over fun activities.

When we are together, there are basic tenets of acceptance, mutual understanding, and an intentional lack of pressure and judgment. Our together is a haven of its own. At least, this is what I believe.

thumb_BM 2_1024 As the years go by, and I find everyone in different walks, I come to value even more the dinner parties, board game hangouts and road trips we take.

Each time the door swings open with people spilling in carrying food, drink, new games, and other miscellaneous things, there is an unspoken, “You are still important, we still matter together” that is conveyed. I hear this in our laughter. 

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These images are from our winter getaway trip to Blue Mountain, where I tried to capture mostly my feelings about the trip as opposed to everyone’s faces.

There was a particular moment that I could not capture, when all 9 of us were sitting in the outdoor hot tub in sub zero temperatures; it was snowing and the steam was rising against the backdrop of snow-capped mountains. .

That moment is full of blessed quiet for me, blessed thankfulness and a slow-rising, body-warming love.
thumb_BM 3_1024The mountain is always waiting in my memory.
As long as we choose to return again and again, I think all these years will have their own versions of that moment.

Posted by:jasmine

Jasmine is an editor, poet, and community arts organizer. She comes to poetry by way of Chinese music. This blog is a mapping of ways.

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