IMG_7622I recently saw this blue and white knit cardigan from Urban Outfitters on sale for 25CAD a.k.a 50% off and I just couldn’t let it go.

I wear it when I wake up, I wear it when I go out or stay home, i wear it when I come home… it’s one of those comfort wear pieces that look amazing and therefore will fit whatever occasion you will it to. These photos are taken on the same day, first thing in the morning, and late at night after work.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about why I choose to do what I choose to do, and whether or not those choices can tell me anything about what decisions I should make next.

Having worked a mishmash of different jobs now, I’m beginning to get to a place where I can be picky again. When I first embarked on this gap year endeavour, I wanted to stay open-minded and so I applied to jobs that I didn’t feel completely qualified for, or interested in, and kept my options very very wide. If I was accepted to something, I would try as best as I could to say yes, unless there was a very strong tension in me to rethink or refuse.

This led to many interesting things, such as me working in marketing for the first time, a job field I’d never anticipated myself in. I also took on new kinds of writing jobs that pushed me out of my normal levels of comfort. I ended up in seasonal retail, a job I’ve never in my life imagined I’d actually be able to do well.

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So far the journey has been rewarding, I’ve learned that much more about what I am capable of, what i prefer, and the parameters and perspectives of each of the jobs I’ve tried my hand at.

There has been good, boring, and downright upsetting. But ah, so is life.

As I gear up for the new year, send off my grad school apps and resume my job hunting and exploring, I’ve also come to a place where I think I will exercise my “No” more often again.

In fashion, the same look doesn’t look or fit the same on each person. It is good to be experimental, but in our mind’s eye (or the mirror), there is always a certain look or vibe that we are searching for. It is just that oftentimes the vibe strikes in an unexpected ensemble – a piece of clothing we didn’t expect.

In that sense we should always remain open-minded, but it is always good to have a clear idea of what we desire in our personal vision of ourselves. This way, when we try on an outfit, if the vibe doesn’t fit, we won’t hold on to an unflattering or ill-fitting piece just because we thought it would deliver.

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In the same way, I’ve kept my options open and said yes to jobs that turned out to be a huge letdown, and experimented with living in ways that I ended up feeling uninspired by. Having tried is my reward, but if it’s time to let it go, I will gladly say goodbye.

It is important also that I’ve come to discern better my own emotions toward a failure or disappointment. When something doesn’t fit, it is not ugly, nor is it necessarily poorly designed. Although those could definitely be factors, more likely, it’s just a matter of a lack of connection. When things don’t work out, there’s no real need to say anymore save what is necessary to move on. Thank you that we tried, Sorry it didn’t work, I hope the future holds good things. 

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Wear what fits you. You can’t force fashion or lifestyle. If you can exercise choice, exercise it with a healthy sense of self-awareness and thought.

2015 is a big question mark right now, but wrapped up in my blue and white long knit cardigan I think I’ll be perfectly satisfied to stay snug, or take to the streets in the exact shade and print I like.

Posted by:jasmine

Jasmine is an editor, poet, and community arts organizer. She comes to poetry by way of Chinese music. This blog is a mapping of ways.

2 replies on “OOTD: Day&Night Knit Cardi

  1. I totally understand where you are at now. I, too, am at a crossroads with my life. But I totally agree with you on experimentation. It’s so important to just try. So excited to see what 2015 has in store!

    Like

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