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I’ve had to wear glasses since the wee age of 6, and for most of my life I hated wearing them.

They seemed to brand me as a certain type of person to other children, and then as a teenager to myself. They meant grief, a certain sense of inability, and a pair of shackles.

When at the age of 12 I began to wear contact lens for the first time my whole world changed. Literally. It was the first time I felt that I could be beautiful, and began to associate my beauty with my face without glasses. There was a time where I would not leave the house, even to throw the trash, without my contacts on.

Now at age 22, 10 years later, the struggle has finally brought me to a place of peace.
It has been a long time, full of ups, downs and breakthroughs.
But I am glad I have walked through this way.

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Like autumn, our relationship with our beauty is seasonal, gradient, and ever changing.
I would like to embrace myself in every changing shade, and love myself in every new brilliance.
The sum total of all my different faces, my different outfits, my evolving sense of self, style and beauty is a spectrum that is glorious.

And that’s why I continue to document them.
I don’t want to forget what it means that I have come to love myself.
The next bend in the road may bring something I haven’t anticipated, and there I will have to struggle again.

But that’s okay.
I have seen more now.

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Posted by:jasmine

Jasmine is an editor, poet, and community arts organizer. She comes to poetry by way of Chinese music. This blog is a mapping of ways.

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